When Ariane and I finally wrapped our heads around the fact that we were going to be parents, she decided that she wanted to go out and buy baby books so that we wouldn't be completely clueless to parenting. As we walked around Barnes & Noble looking through book after book, I noticed that motherhood books follow a positive path. They lead women down a road of positive thinking and empowerment. Books about fatherhood, on the other hand, have a very different tone. Going through books supposedly aimed at me, I kept seeing the same thing: "Having a baby sucks and you will hate everything but it's cool and you will get through it." I have to say, that doesn't exactly make me want to drop loads of dough on your book. Needless to say, I left the store empty handed.
I talked with my own father about fatherhood and how his experience was. Referencing the wonderful reading material that I skimmed, I asked him if it was really as miserable as it sounded. He pretty much scoffed and dismissed the idea, saying that it was tough but he never once hated it.
You see, when it comes to men and women in raising a child, I've noticed something. Women have all of this wonderful reference material and positive reinforcement telling them that they're good to go and that it's all going to be fine. Men... have sub-par books that just kind of tell them to hang in there.
I don't have this big tummy that you can rub and feel a baby kick. I don't have doctors appointments to give me updates on what I should expect and what I might be feeling. I don't have anything to show that I'm going to be a father any day now. Honestly, it kind of sucks. I wish people could look at me and see how proud I am to be what I am. I'm with my love and together we are going to be the parents of the coolest kid.
Here's what I know: My kid is going to be such a badass. He already has tons of great friends and family just waiting on him to get here. It makes the future a lot brighter knowing that. Yea, it's going to be tough raising him and showing him the world, but I'm not dreading any of it. I've always looked forward to being a father, and now it's happening. I don't need a book to tell me any of this. I feel it now, and that's good enough for me.
End Notes: Childbirth gets a really bad rap. It seems like when people find out somebody is having a baby that it's the worst thing to ever happen (namely when they aren't married; and don't even get me started on that subject). Get over it. At one point, you were born just like any other baby. Our bodies make other bodies. Science.
